Breathe in. Breathe out.

What is the best thing about February in Mississippi?

Three whole days of a sunshine wash, of the black branches turned hot to the touch in the sun. I don't want it to get cold again, ever. It feels like everything is splitting open warm and sweet again, and I keep wearing turquoise and fuchsia and other color-bright t-shirts and shoes. Today and yesterday, I sat in the sun on a wooden bench and ate my lunch and read Tinkers and then just soaked in blue sky and sun and turned my mind loose.

You know those rubber squeeze toys, that you press all the way in and they slowly expand back out. I feel like I've been compressed and it's hard getting enough air before anxiety closes my throat again. No one ever told me that peace is a discipline.


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What other things made me happy today?

My brother wrote me an actual email. Yes, a bona fide long one, and it made me laugh so hard. I mean, really hard. I soaked it up and shook with laughter.

Today is a Sam day. That means I get to play with the sweet kid and have 3 hours not school-haunted.

The spring holds gelato, and train rides, and medieval roads.

There are two chocolate chip cookies in my bag. I got a day's worth of laughter in one morning.

Things aren't easy. But they are good. In the deep kind of way, as a certain boy would say.