After Apple-Picking in Canada

Yeah, I should really be writing that 8 page Poetry paper right now. If it was two weeks ago, it would be a fun paper to write and I would pour my very soul into it. But it is Thanksgiving week and I get to go home tomorrow and see my mom and my dad and my brother and the Sweet Dog and walk around the Loop and bake pumpkin bread (and a recipe with cranberries that I saved back at fall break) and sleep in my bed and - but I need to write this paper so I can enjoy all that. 

So what justifies this irresponsible flight into blog-land when I should be thinking about Robert Penn Warren and how he's influenced my philosophy on line-breaks? Well, I will tell you.

Because I am RELIEVED. So, SO (so) relieved.

Why? 

Because the internship I was stressing about because I hadn't heard anything back from the person who contacted me and told me I had it, and I have been sending emails and waking up in a ball of anxiety o'nights and imagining a horrible internship-less semester - that internship - is safe and solid and they still want me, whew. 

I'm glad. I dreamed last night that I applied for an internship in an apple orchard and lost it to two other people. I woke at 5:20 and got up, because sleep is futile after you miss the chance to work in an apple orchard. And so I am thankful. Very, very thankful. The stress knot in my chest just relaxed a little bit more. 

***

On Saturday I watched a movie, "Lars and the Real Girl." Now, I do not like watching movies much anymore (too many things to do, and I'm sitting here, watching a movie, and it's just making me more stressed). And when I first heard about the plot of this particular movie, it immediately landed in the category of "Movies I Have No Desire to Watch, Ever. Ever Ever Ever." I mean, a guy orders an adult toy that is basically a huge Barbie and thinks it is his girlfriend, and all his family and friends play along and pretend it's real? Nope. Not interested. Not at all. 

But then my friend Claire told me it was strangely charming and sweet. That made me re-consider my category placement. Then Anna Page told me that she really liked it. And this surprised me so much that when the Samford Film Club showed it Saturday afternoon, I went.

And I loved it. I loved it so much. It is not the stuff of dirty jokes and crass humor. Instead it is about a lonely guy who keeps emotionally isolating himself, and when he gets this delusion, the entire community surrounds him with support in pretending the thing is real. Including his church. It's set really far north, and the whole cold, grey atmosphere breaking into spring is beautiful, and the way Lars' brother and sister-in-law and friends love him is beautiful, and the scene where he finally lets someone touch his hand is beautiful, and I want to watch it again (and again.) 

You should watch it, too.

***

"Some places are forever afternoon."

-Richard Hugo